Dear Panera Bread,
My name is Michael Reynolds and for the past several years, I have been a loyal customer of your fine café restaurant. I have savored your French onion soup served in a sour dough bread bowl. I have enjoyed your soft furniture and softer music that lulls me into near hypnosis. I come for the food and I stay for the atmosphere. However, on this past Monday’s visit, everything changed.
As usual, I ordered a delicious soup filled bread loaf that was delivered to me with a speed and courtesy that rivals restaurants twice the price. As I sat in one of your soft, inviting booths, I laid my order out on the pristine tabletop and gazed at the art adorning the walls. That’s when I first saw it; a two dimensional statement that is so incendiary any citizen worth their fedora would take offense! I am unaware if you are familiar with the writings of Michel Foucault and Roland Barthes, but judging by the orientation of one of your paintings (see enclosed), I am sure you are more than aware and are taking a jab at traditional issues of representation! As a classicist, I will not return to your fine café until this wrong has been righted. Please let me know when this issue has been corrected so I may enjoy my bread bowls without being bombarded by representational politics, polemics, and the issues of painting in contemporary society.
Sincerely,
Michael Reynolds
Enclosed:
10-29-2008
UPDATE: As of November 9th, 2008... The painting is still upside down. :(
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